4.0

I did it. I have the 4.0 GPA for my first semester. Now I can breathe, and I know I can do this. I'm so lucky to have been blessed with such wonderful professors that encouraged me to push myself. Thank you.

One Step Closer

I just received one of the two emails I've been waiting for. My math professor just sent my grade for my final exam, as well as the grade for the overall class. Here's how the email went...

Felicity

Final exam = 98.5% = A

Overall = 90.1% = A

Congratulations. You did it!

Mr. M.

YAY!!!! I did what I really thought was the impossible! Right now I am so happy and proud of myself. Life is good. This really sets the tone for my drive and determination for my college career. Thank you, God!

Just one more grade to get and I will know where I stand with my GPA. *biting my nails*

Prank Calls

I'm not sure what I am most upset about right now...

My daughter and her friend for making prank calls on Friday night, or the reaction of a teacher at my eldest daughters school whose number was randomly dialed.

This morning I was woken by a phone call from my eldest daughter, crying hysterically, completely unsure why she was even in trouble. Her home room teacher called her out of the class and took her to the sheriff, as he believed he received a phone call from her on Friday night. He has the voicemail that was left on his phone from my home number, and what appears to be my eldest cchilds voice in the background.

What he actually has, is my middle child's friend trying to disguise her voice, and my middle child in the background asking her friend what she was saying. The issue is, even though my eldest daughter was not even home that night, so could not possibly have made the call, her homeroom teacher is convinced it was her, and that it was a malicious act worthy of being taken to the sheriff.

While I completely understand the coincidence of this man being my eldest daughters teacher, and the fact that a prank call being made at all is not the best behavior, these girls are 12 years old. Is it really a 'malicious act' that needs to be taken to the police? I think not.

Happy Mother's Day

I came home from work this morning to my teen, and tween still in bed sleeping soundly. My youngest was in the kitchen with my husband, hands full of cocoa pops cereal, arguing that if she eats it dry out of a ziplock bag she can eat it on the couch. It's true; I let her do that occasionally when we just want to snuggle in the mornings.

I walked upstairs and woke my eldest child saying "Morning Tay Tay! Come make me breakfast in bed", then went to my middle daughter's room to find her laying in bed playing video games. I swear she should've been a boy!

We all came downstairs and made breakfast together, and it was delicious. Eggs Benedict is one of my favorite breakfast meals, and that's what I had. They sat at the kitchen table and made me hand-made cards (my favorite) and surprised me with them just a moment ago. Now we are snuggled on the couch watching episodes from my Will and Grace boxed series set, and life is good.

The greatest gift for me on Mother's Day is knowing that I have three beautiful daughters that love me very much, and loving them back more than anything in the world.

Happy Mother's Day for all the mum's and mom's out there.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

Today, I have been trying to put together my next semester of school.

Much to my surprise, I found that I only need eight... yes EIGHT years of school to have my MD.

WHAT!!!???!!!

Today is a very happy day for me. I am now only seven and a half years away from my dream, instead of 9 and a half.

I'm so excited I could cry!

Speaking of dreams

I woke this morning almost in tears, after a terrrible nightmare had rocked my sleep, yet again. It's pretty typical for me to have them, but they never get any easier to deal with. Each one a little worse than the last. This one was about one of my close friends. Not fun.
I was driving along on in a car I haven't owned in more than 5 years, on a road that weaved through the marine corps base. The base, however, was not the one on which I live now. PMO pulled me over for what I assumed was another speeding ticket. I was crying so hard because I knew I wasn't speeding, but they wouldn't hear it. They made me get out of my car, told me to find another way home as I was not getting that car back again. I somehow managed to see the police report and saw that they were picking me up on suspicion of drugs, and apparently a headlight out. When I arrived home, to a house that I do not live in, and have never seen in my life, my friend was standing at the top of the stairs waiting for me. For whatever reason, she had moved in with my family and me.
After relaying my story to my friend and realizing that she did not seem at al surprised, I asked her if everything was okay. She replied with an evil laugh and the confession that she had set it up, and that PMO would be coming to take me away soon. She said that she was jealous of what I had accomplished in life, and of all the nice things that I had, so she was taking it. Apparently she had only asked to move in because she liked my daughters bedroom and knew she could have her kicked out of it for her. In disbelief I went to walk up the stairs towards her and she hit me with a metal bat.
That woke me up. I was almost in tears and messaged her immediately. Everything is as it should be.
Generally, I can make a decent connection from my subconscious to my dreams, but this one has me stumped.

Two months... already??

It's the two month anniversary of my friend's death today. It is also his wife's birthday. What a great reminder every year, huh? I spoke to her this morning and she was miserable, and was dealing with a hangover from last nights festivites. Needless to say, she was not really in the mood for conversation.
I can not imagine how she must feel. My husband annoys the hell out of me on a daily basis, he goes on deployments to fight for his country, risking his life, but I can not fathom what it must feel like to lose a spouse. Watching them die is something else altogether. I am an extremely strong person, and have been through quite a bit in the little time I've been here on Earth, but I do not feel that I would have the strength to deal with someone that close to me dying.
I am really excited to take the death and dying class next semester. For some reason, I am fascinated by that concept lately, and surely just because of Tracky's death.
I wrote a song about death once. It was written because it seemed that everyone I knew had someone die on them.... all within two weeks of each other. All my friends were miserable, and it felt like the life was gone from them, too.
The song is now one of my favorites of mine. If anyone is interested, it can be heard at www.myspace.com/avengelyna
It is called 'Convulserator'.

Oh, to be a blue bird

I used to walk during my lunch break... most days.

One day, as I left the parking lot with it's big iron gate, and turned the corner to the first stretch of my walking route, a blue bird landed in front of me and began to hop along beside me, as though it's purpose for the day was to join me while I dutifully worked exercise into my life. The sun was shining through the many clouds that cover that beautiful city on an almost too regular basis (in most people's opinions... I however, love clouds, rain etc). This magnificent creature, with it's impossible-to-describe-the-exact-shade-of-blue feathers, made itself a part of my life for just a few moments, looking curiously up at me; a giant compared to it's tiny frame. Yet it was not afraid. It did not fly away. It just hopped happily along with me, taking in my thoughts, like an old friend listening to my troubles without me needing to say a word.

Just seeing that bird, with the sun shining on our backs as we walked together for that brief moment in time, made me think about all the beautiful things in my life that I should be grateful for.

Oh, to be a blue bird. To be able to inspire as this bird inspired me.

At first, I thought it was it's physical beauty that made me think about beauty itself. But I was wrong. It had nothing to do with the stunning display of color which adorned it's wings, but the innocence and absolute trust with which it presented itself to me... somehow knowing that I would not dream of abusing that trust by hurting it in any way.
That innocence is what made me think about true beauty for the remainder of my walk.
Perhaps it is time to remember that lesson again now. To truly appreciate the beautiful things in my life, to keep myself grounded and humble.

Oh, to be a blue bird...

The little engine that could

It's tough to write a lit crit paper, and say what you mean, while arguing that your perception of the book is the true and correct meaning. I have an A in all my other classes and can finish my first semester with a 4.0 GPA, providing I get one in my English class... so I am terrrified! Perhaps that is the problem; knowing that it is so close, and putting excess pressure on myself. Time to recite positive affirmations and continue plugging away. I can write this paper. My thoughts are valid, and I am presenting them in a way that pleases Ms Cheraz. They are clear, meaningful, and true to my thesis. I will succeed. I will succeed. I will succceed.